Fly With Me ✈✈✈

Click Play first then, read.

I'm flying today... for GOOD. The definite comeback should be six months to a year after. If I'm not back in a year, it only means that I won't be back in a couple of years or more.

Wish me luck in this new endeavor. May I find peace and happiness in this fate. 

Of course, this blog would still be a venue of my *ehem* CRAZYNESS. Since I will be living in a new State, sure you will experience new posts. Hope you'll still like it without the Pilipinas side of my story...

Stay with me... I will always keep you in my heart wherever I maybe. 

Love, now and always,

Mia       

Agnostic

I often tell people that I'm agnostic--no God, no beliefs. But the truth is I only tell people that I'm agnostic so that they wouldn't ask about my faith: why I don't pray before and after meals, why I don't pray before and after bedtime, why I don't go to mass, I don't take the communion, and so on and so forth.

I truly believe in God. He is our creator. He is the supreme being who controls the world. He gave us His only Son... his son died on the cross for us to save us from our sins. He would come on the judgement day... to bring us to heaven and punish us to hell. 

Coming from a Catholic and Christian school, I know a lot of prayers--the different prayers we pray for the sick, living, dead, etc. Even the songs, I know a lot of songs to sing during masses, celebrations, etc.... as the great Saint Augustine said, "Singing is praying. When one sings one prays twice." 

These days, I've been talking to God a lot and bargaining Him half of my life for something I really wanted right now. But he's been hard to convince, playing hard to get all sudden. In the past months, He'd been answering my prayers as fast as the speed of light... answering prayers and wishes side by side. Everything was flawless. Not until June came--my birthday month. 

It's my birthday... Shouldn't He at anytime of the year punish me and not on my birthday? Can't it not wait, even just a day or two to let it pass? Don't Good Girls Deserve a Break Once in Awhile to the reality of life?

Yes, indeed, I am questioning God. Why does his decision have to be so firm now? Can't it break? Can't it wait a little while? Can't he stretch it a bit and give this girl what he wants? Can I really not have what I've been praying for now? 

I think his decisions are firm that I cannot have this... Or at least, I want to believe, not yet... not this time. 

love, now and always, 

The story that ended happily

Yesterday, I saw my ex- fiancé. Yes, the one that I planned my whole life with two years ago.

To be exact, we broke up January 31, 2008. It was a really bad breakup. I have to say that if our story was a movie—it would win all possible dramatic awards and of course, I’d be the best actress of all time.

If I remembered it correctly, I cried every single day after we broke up and I only stopped in the middle of March. When I say every single day, I really mean everyday... Not a day would pass without weeping over him. Here’s a trivial: I used to have this film canister where I store all my tears for him and wish that by the time I already filled the canister, I’m done crying. But halfway full the canister, I stopped. Thank God.

I remember writing a future letter to him @ futureme.org that will be sent 5 years from the date of our break up. The letter wasn’t anything cheesy. It was actually telling him to look for me and to be friends with me after all. But only 2 years passed and we are ok.

I’m even glad now that I experienced that kind of pain.

So… I saw my ex fiancé. I thought it would still hurt or it would like strum a string in my heart but it did not. I have finally moved on. I am finally free.

We had a lil catching up. He asked a lot of things about me and I answered all of it.

Perhaps, he was worried. Maybe, he still feels guilty about the break up.

Here are our random chat:

Your hair’s still long…
If you only knew I cut it really short.

You still write…
Yes and this is serious writing. I bid freelance goodbye.

You wear higher heels now…
That makes me taller than you. c",)

You have a boyfriend…
I don’t but there’s someone that’s trying to change my status.

I didn’t ask too much about him. All I asked was how’s he doing and how his parents are and I'm grateful they are all okay. I didn’t bother to ask a lot of things: One, I’m not interested and two, I don’t want to send a wrong signal.

Really, time heals all wounds. Two years ago isn’t a very long time and I’m healed. Your heart might be breaking right now, but always see the little light that shines around you.

Hold on tight, it will be one hell of a journey. There will be a lot of pain, crying, heartaches, learnings….

Remember to never give up because the story isn’t over yet.

And if you ever feel like giving up... just think about this...

Don’t you want to see your story ending happily?

love, now and always,

After 5 years, Finally.

I don’t want to expect. At the end, I’ll just realize that it didn’t happen.
Never will. Cancelled.

But I know deep down my heart that I am expecting.

We always planned something like this before pero dahil sa busy schedules hindi palagi natutuloy. All I can say is that, "I, We, already waited 5 years. Why not wait more?"

He said that before the day ends, I'll know kung tuloy or hindi. I understand that he is, indeed, really busy with his schedule and duty. He's a nursing student with on-going hospital duties from time to time.

I wouldn't be demanding. I wouldn't take his dreams away from him. He makes me happy.
"Hindi nga kami magkasama, napapasaya nya na ko... what more kung magkasama pa?!"

I hope his schedule would allow it. I hope. I wish.

After 5 years… Finally.

Sana.

love, now and always,