Of Ten Things

I don't have a favorite number. But if I should choose one I'll go for number 10. One, it's easy to remember and two the tenth letter in the alphabet is J--the first letter of my name.

Today is 10-10-10, The Tenth Day Of The Tenth Month Of The Tenth Year Of The Decade... I should have for this day... got married, bought a new car or a house, adopted a pet, spent the day with an orphanage or something. Kidding aside, I should've bought a plane ticket and spent the day with you...!



Ten Things to be Thankful:

1. I'm still alive
2. I'm living a peaceful life
3. I have a job [not the one that I really like thought but it still supports me]
4. I passed UP again [FYI, I passed 3 years ago but wasn't able to really enroll]
5. My mom's operation is successful [Thanks God!]
6. My brother is back in our family [The bitch is gone... Yes! I can say that it's my blog! RIGHT?!]
7. Marco, Julianne, Tito Pogs and Tita Irma visited us [and we'll be visiting them soon... hello USA]
8. My knee is not aching so much anymore [but I still have to visit the doctor for final check ups] 
9. I don't have any debts
10. I have a clear goal of what I want.

Ten things to look forward:

1. Grad school
2. FilmFest Competition Level Up! Live
3. Halloween, Christmas, New Year
4. Holidays
5. Reunion with my MF friends
6. Family out of town[probably somewhere far... CEBU? BOHOL? BORA?]
7. Wearing heels again[after the accident]
8. Shopping [when's the last time i bought something for myself.. for myself only]
9. E.L.F. 100+ eye shadow palette will be out in the market next month
10. My Christmas for a cause project.

Ten Things to Achieve/Learn:

1. Play chess
2. Swim good
3. Ride a bike
4. Finish my MA
5. Transfer to a new job[that's really right for my course]
6. Take Image Nation workshop
7. Join lots of  Writing competitions
8. Give more time to family
9. Give myself a "Me" time
10. Update my Journal regularly

Ten Things to Stop:

1. Sleeping late
2. Ignoring txt messages
3. Spending too much  
4. Cursing people
5. Hating _______.
6. Being nice to not so nice people
7. Giving out my fake smile
8. Skipping Doctor appointments 
9. Skipping Breakfast
10. Acting like an evil person... [it was fun when people look at me differently, though]

love, now and always, 

Of life and Pain

Stucked in the computer monitor for awhile.

Tap, tap, tap, type… stop.

Backspace, save, escape.

Type again.

Alt f4… save.

Cancel.

No, I shouldn’t give up.

I should blog, type the thoughts in my mind now or it will be gone forever.

Today is a beautiful day. I realized how unlucky I am to live in this world. How I need air to live. How I need water, food, clothing, shelter to survive.

How I need friends to laugh with, be with. How I have to talk to mom about life-love-life problems. How I need my brother’s alarm clock every morning. How I… need this, need that, want this, want that….

There are lots of things I need to be able to live. How unlucky I am to need that. But at the same time lucky…. Because I’m still alive.

Weird?

I wanted to die yesterday and now realized that I love to live, hundreds, thousands of century…That every single breathe I take, every beat of my heart, every blink of my eye, every pulse, signs me that I’m still living. That these heartaches wounds deep now, but will later heal its own. That scars of pain doesn’t matter now, for surgeries are left, right, down, under.

Maybe I’m living too much that I couldn’t feel it anymore. Living’s been perfect in the days that gone. No problem, no challenge… just alive. Maybe God would want another twist, he’s bored and saturated with my perfect life.

Now, he’s back to attack for more fighting. He’s back for some action. Anyway, a hero wouldn’t be a hero without some villain. But he wouldn’t send terrorist in front of me like he how he bombed off WTC. He wouldn’t trap me in a broken elevator. He wouldn’t break my shoes, steal my phone. He wouldn’t send a fire-mad boss. He wouldn’t touch, push, hurt a family and a friend…

He would break a heart, my heart… to mend, make it stronger—to feel pain is to live—to be alive.

love, now and always,