The Dessert

I woke up in the middle of NOTHING. 

No trees, houses. 

No birds flying up the blue sky.

I looked above and I realized that what I'm seeing is not anything I've seen before... It's not the sky I've known that comes in all shades of blue. This one is like a blank vast space.

No star to conquer. No moon and sun chasing each other wishing to be together but never really meet.

Nothing. Empty.

And with nothing to see from the sky, I examined around, the only thing that differentiates this from the blank sky is that in the sky nothing is there but on the ground I am HERE.

I shouted all the words I know that means "anybody there?". Nothing. No echo. Nothing that assured me that something's or someone's there. 

I think I given up before I lost sanity.

I accepted what will never be there. No one will be here. I'm alone. It maybe nothing and it may feel so empty... But at the least, I should be happy I'M STILL HERE. 

waiting for my star to fall,  
 Mia      

No Title Yet [Suggest a TITLE, will you?]

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning. He knocked at my door wearing his favorite #5 purple jersey that, he says, he only wears when his favorite game is on. 


Looking neat and his hair has grown since the last time I saw him. No moustache again, so he pretty much looks like 5 years younger than me. I opened the door. He greeted me with a short, Hi. I replied a smile. Who needs words in moments like these? He’s here. That’s what’s important, he’s here. 

We went inside; he gave me a bag of my favorite chocolates. Glad that it wasn’t candy this time. We walked and still no words are uttered… it’s like those scenes in silly chick flicks with violin serenades on the background, too dangerous to fill words this perfect scene.

We continued walking, our feet bringing us to the bedroom… No, we won’t make a scene. The next scene should go this way I would lie in bed. He would browse through my laptop and tell me, it’s too “girly” to break the silence in between. I will smile and ask, “Don’t you like it?” He will smile back.

But this time, he didn’t. After I lie on my bed, he went beside me, wrapped his arms around me. It’s all silence again. Now it’s my turn to break the ice. This silence is reaching zero degrees. But before I said a word, I heard a very familiar song… “party like… Party like it's the end of the world… We gonna party like, like it's 2012.” My daily alarm was singing. Grabbed it and tapped dismiss. When I look back, he was gone. Found a message on my phone, “I can’t come.”

Tinkerbell: You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you.

Love, now and always,

Mia        

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mia always dreamt of becoming 5'8" or higher that goes with the reason why she wears higher platforms. She wears lighter makeup these days because her MAN is particular with INNER beauty. She's the same old shopaholic you now, splurging over stuffs that a part goes to charity. Today, she is not writing blogs and promos anymore. She ventured into marketing... selling souls to the devil. And oh wait, on her spare time, she writes short stories of love with tragic ending. Some of her published works are "Cries, Cameras and Actions", "8 folds", "The Boat", "All for Carlie", "Ragnarok Online Love Story" and "Resume of Lovers". 

To Him, Who must not read...

I'm not good in showing people that I care about them. Sometimes, I even try to do the opposite of things to test and see how that person cares for me too. I create a really thick wall between me and others to know who is brave enough to break, to use a ladder to climb or to simply jump off that wall. 



In this world where everyone can be your friend, blame it all to social networks, who is real? Good friends who's been with me through the years I know are true. But what about the new ones? What about people who I just met? What about this someone introduced to me? Where does this person fit: FRIENemy? Friend? Person I just met a couple of times and cupidified my heart? Person who doesn't want to be friends with me? or is it.... Person I want to be friends with because I'm in love with him. 


I'm not good in showing people my emotions. But when I do, Believe me... It's BIGBANG, BOOMBASTIC, and BLOCKBUSTER--That, I'm about to do now...



Remember that guy I told you the other night? I think I don't have to tell him that I love him because if he was really in love too, he would have felt that every move I made leads to him... 

Tell me why I reply to all his messages just so he could reply again.
Tell me why I hate smiley replies but when he did, it was fine.
Tell me why I stay up so late when he's still awake.
Tell me why I stalk him on Facebook and why I waste my time reading updates that don't even make sense to me.
Tell me why I always want to wear the same color of his shirt.
Tell me why I stayed in a freaking hot Jacuzzi just to be with him when I tend to find shade when sun shines.
Tell me why I made myself watch a silly show just because he is watching it too.
Tell me why when he promised something and broke it, I can still believe to his  promises, over and over again.
Tell me why he is the last thing on my mind and the first thought in my mornings.
Tell me why in every rule, I found an exception--Him.
Tell me why when he doesn't find the RIGHT girl, I'm waiting, always waiting, at his LEFT.

Love, now and always,

Mia        

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mia always dreamt of becoming 5'8" or higher that goes with the reason why she wears higher platforms. She wears lighter makeup these days because her MAN is particular with INNER beauty. She's the same old shopaholic you now, splurging over stuffs that a part goes to charity. Today, she is not writing blogs and promos anymore. She ventured into marketing... selling souls to the devil. And oh wait, on her spare time, she writes short stories of love with tragic ending. Some of her published works are "Cries, Cameras and Actions", "8 folds", "The Boat", "All for Carlie", "Ragnarok Online Love Story" and "Resume of Lovers". 

The Same Sky

This is a touchy-sad-happy story. So before reading this story, make sure to get yourself a box of Kleenex® or maybe not.

When I was little, my mother always joins my father at work. To all people who don’t know yet, my father is a seafarer. He, ever since I can remember, works on an oil shipping company that I think delivers oils to different parts of the world: Asia, Europe, America, Dubai, etc. and whenever he joins the ship, months after, my Mom will follow him there. I often wonder why she would leave us for my Dad when there’s such thing like mother’s unconditional love…

I used to be a brat about this and always hate her for leaving us because for me it felt like she would rather be there: travel countries after countries than take care of us, than teach us, than do stuff like regular Moms do for their children.

I also remember that every time she would leave she would buy us really cool stuff like things we always want to have and been dreaming off to posses. It feels happy to get things we want but in exchange for your mother? Would you rather get it? But do I have a choice back then? I don’t have and I need to pretend to enjoy those stuffs and things she bought.

One night before her flight to somewhere I can’t remember to join Dad, she told me something that I still remember and do from time to time. We were seating next to each other on our swing that night, under the Mango trees, beneath the stars… I don’t know why we were there and even the whole topic we are talking about. But there was one thing I always remember and it was when she told me that if I ever feel like missing her, if I ever want her beside me and if I need her when she can’t be with me, all that I have to do is to look at the stars and the sky and remember that no matter how far She is or how far I maybe, we are under the same sky, looking at it and sitting next to each other.

Now that I’m far away… here are the stars, here is the sky. I’m looking at it. I miss her so MUCH.

Love, now and always,

Mia        

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mia always dreamt of becoming 5'8" or higher that goes with the reason why she wears higher platforms. She wears lighter makeup these days because her MAN is particular with INNER beauty. She's the same old shopaholic you now, splurging over stuffs that a part goes to charity. Today, she is not writing blogs and promos anymore. She ventured into marketing... selling souls to the devil. And oh wait, on her spare time, she writes short stories of love with tragic ending. Some of her published works are "Cries, Cameras and Actions", "8 folds", "The Boat", "All for Carlie", "Ragnarok Online Love Story" and "Resume of Lovers". 

Five love stories: Lost, Never Found

I was rushing to Manila that day. I’m not this type of person... everything for me is planned, 3 days or a week advanced. Silly me for not being able to prepare much for this day... Perhaps, I never wanted this day to come.

Aside from the fact that I would be having a goodbye party with the small office friends I have, It is also the day that I would be giving back C’s stuff… these are the things that he gave me in the short span of our relationship.

Crappy lil material things that were “ONCE” the sweetest gifts I ever received. I was supposed to mail a black ring, a Starbucks phone chain and the beads bracelet he left at my car in one of our meetings. For the value of money, I decided to include the book I bought for him when we are still together… in the mail!

The Book? Yes, a book by Ricky Lee… The book is titled, “Para Kay B”… bought it because I wanted to alter it to “Para Kay Babe”. It was a popular book but I never thought that it was popular when I saw it in the bookstore… I only browsed the pages and thought these are FIVE cool love stories but, now, that I already read it—it’s some of the rare love stories with sad and tragic. How C and mine’s love end. Too sad, too tragic, truly meant to be.

So I planned to ship the book with the gifts to his house… but something happened. I thought that before the party I would be able to pass by LBC or DHL or FeDex but I didn’t have enough time for it since I was really rushing. I decided to go straight to the party and just ship it on another date.

That’s the plan but that wouldn’t happen anymore… In the party, I left my bag and the small orange plastic bag with the package… I was drinking chatting with my friends with this package near my bag 10 inches away from me. I’m not even drunk that time. When Cinderella’s time struck that I have to go home, I was looking for the small orange plastic bag and it was gone… My bag is still there but the orange plastic thingy is gone. I asked my friends if they saw it and none of them saw… I tried to look for it but it was gone.

Maybe an angel snatched it to make me realized that everything is gone… the end… fin. Now, somewhere, here, still hurts and aches. At times, I still want to cry but there are no more tears. I already changed numbers but, everyday, I still insert that SIMcard wait for 5 minutes for anything but nothing is received.    

To that angel who got that package, you can give it to him (it’s a package... his address is well written there), keep it or throw it away. It’s up to your hands now…

But for me, it’s gone, lost and will never be found. 

Love, now and always,

Mia        

LI.......................FE!

Every time a man comes into my life, the only thing that I ask God is to stop anything between us as soon as possible, if this man is not the right one for me. For quite some time, God has been doing a good-great job with what I'm asking him. 

I'm actually starting to lose hope that God will send the right one: willing to wait, worth the pain, and will be there for me. Sometimes I even ask myself, why would God want someone as sinful as I am to be happy? Do I pray every night? Or rosary every Wednesday, at least? Go to church? Am I a good person? I find most of my answers here no--I'm not a good person-- Not evil, though, but a bad one. 

Why would God want someone like me to be his child? Why? With all the things that I have, People always think that it's perfect. But, if you are in my shoes... you will understand why suicide plans are always an occurrence, why a teardrop falls from eye-to eye.

It's not an easy life. I bet everyone would shout the same. It's not an easy life and yet, we still make things complicated. We love, we hate. 

love, now and always, 

The THREE Month Rule

...in the END of every relationship!

from Love Paradise for You

from The Ed Techie

from *geeksugar

The Three Month Rule states that there is a mandatory three-month period in the end of a relationship where the broken couple stays single for at least 3 months. This rule gives both parties the time to heal or prepare themselves before their ex dates/loves someone new. 

...at the BEGINNING of every relationship!!!

from a Year of Significance

from kiss me daily

from the Third Eye Health

The Three Month Rule states that there is a mandatory three-month period at the beginning of a relationship where things are perfect . If you're not serious over someone, don't date  more than three months, because that's when people get comfortable enough around each other to start letting their faults show. When dating someone or starting a relationship, set your mind that if anything bad happens in the first three months, you are ready to walkout and disappear. No emotional attachment that you can't move on from, it didn't work out[in the beginning and won't work out till the end] and  it's just over.  


THREE months before it becomes real

from http://www.funnypictures.net.au

I never believed in the three month rule. Perhaps, I never really had a real relationship yet, worth the three month "idle" period. Or maybe, I believe that falling in and out of love is like a body of water... you are free to stream, wave, flow wherever the water takes you. 


If you found the right one, could you control your heart to stop beating for him/her? It's called falling in love [or falling out of love for this matter...], you don't force yourself to be in love[or out of love], you just fall. 

love, now and always, 

Tricking and Treating

Halloween is one of the anticipated time of the year in every Filipino Family. It’s the time where most of the relatives reunite against their busy schedules and plan the coming Christmas holiday.

I never cherished the time of Halloween when I was younger. I may have enjoyed it but only for the food, the candle ball making in the cemetery and the no class day. It’s only now that I truly appreciate the non-working holiday. It's a day break from the busy streets and congested area of Metro Manila.

The air here in the province is very refreshing. Being with the whole family is very heartwarming. It prepares me new positive energies when I'm back to the battlefield of my workplace. We may have a little heart problem drama c/o of my brother and his [bitch] ex but everything is still relaxing and truly a memory to cherish. 

I will be spending half of the day at the cemetery. Spending the day there brings back a lot of memories... especially those sad memories of my loved ones burial/interment. The pains are back and the next was a tear falling down my cheeks.


Originally, this post was supposed to be about how a Filipino family spends the All Soul's  Day and Halloween. But it ended up another emo post. But when I think about it... thinking about the memories of the departed loved ones and feeling sad that they can't be here with us anymore, no matter how long we spend the whole day at the cemetery... is how a true Filipino should dedicate a special day for the Soul. 

Happy All Souls Day! 

All souls are SAINTS!

Happy All Saints Day!

love, now and always, 

Who Will You Fight For?

Who Will You Fight For?

the one you love?

or the one who loves you???

will he be the one you want to love?

or

the one who will always love you?

will it be the person you're thingking of?

or

the one thinking of you?

will he be the one you are with every time of the day

or

the one you wish you're with at the end of the day?

will he be the person always next to you?

or

the one next to you're heart?

will he be the one with you in everything you do?

or

the reason of what you are doing?

will he be the reason?

or

the excuses?

will he be the one you want to be with for the rest of you life

or

you can't see the rest of your life without him?

will he be the one when you're with time goes so quickly?

or

the person in your mind that when time goes so slowly?

will he be the reason of your happiness?

or

the one who will always make you smile?

will he be the one you'll tell your heart to beat for

or

what your heart is beating.

will he be the one in you're mind?

or

in your dreams?

will he be the reason of your tears

or

the one who will wipe your tears

will he be the reason for feeling

or

the reason for your emotions?

will he be the one you'll call in the middle of the night

or

the one will be there when you call?

will he be the one you'll care

or

who will care?

will you chose the person who opened you're heart

or

the one when you open your heart's always there?

love, now and always, 

A Love Advice

Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone he/she loves so much will still wish against all odds to have that love back again.  But, sometimes a love lost is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring to life a relationship that just died a natural death. Set yourself free. Let your heart spread its wings and fly. Remember, it may rain for 40 days and 40 nights, but still will not rain forever. One day the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest.  One of these is where you will build your nest and start over again. It’s never too late. Remember, you may find love and lose it but "WHEN LOVE DIES, YOU NEVER HAVE TO DIE WITH IT".  Remember, we all fail and make wrong decisions but our blunders are meant not to bury us...

love, now and always, 

Beyond Habits

Old Habits Die Hard.

I should’ve started this post with a disclaimer asking you, the reader, to leave if you don’t want to look at habits after this post. But...

Habits. 

When I look at your way, smiled… and did it again the next day, is it a habit? When I think about you tonight and start to think about you every single night after… is it a habit?  When I do things over and over again, does it become a habit? Or does it become a part of who I am?

Experts says 95% of what we do are habits. The same routes, same food, same ways, same style, same colors… it's a life full of habits. Is it okay? Habits helps us do our every day routine naturally, normally. But when we do things out of habits, aren’t we giving up the control of our lives? We are… right? 

We no longer take things carefully and we associate all that things we habitually do are good. But some habits may turn out bad for the doer eventually. Not only that it becomes bad, same way it also cage us, limits us and makes us do what we always done and never let us learn and grow. 

Truly habits are very powerful… either it slaves you or gives you force. Start developing good habits from now on or changing bad habits to good ones! Physiologists widely accept that IT TAKES ABOUT 28 DAYS TO CHANGE A HABIT.

But remember, 28 days come and go, only can challenge yourself to make a change. 

love, now and always, 

PS: Is love nothing more than just a habit? Do we love just because we get used to?  So does this mean now, “no sparks needed, we can all learn to love”? 

Who is Mia Santos?

Mia came from my mothers’ name MarIA and Santos her last name, before she married my dad. Mia Santos is my pen name. It’s the name I want to use if I ever become popular someday.

Like…
Mia Santos reporting.

Why Mia Santos?

Well, you cannot take my real name away from me. I will always be Jamie Meneses--papers, documents, record shows it. It can’t be changed. But I also want to give honor to my Mom and her name. I also want to be someone else once in awhile. 

I also want to be Mia Santos...

Just Mia Santos where Jamie Meneses can be safe, secure and at peace.

love, now and always,