The Breathe of Fresh Air

Everything that happened in the last 5 months or so.... is a breathe of fresh air. It helped me realize a lot of things:


1. That running away doesn't let you escape from where you are running from. Sometimes it makes you closer, closer not to come back but to think of what is right and leave everything behind. 


2. That no matter how hurtful things are... crying will be, someday, tiring. It all falls back on the right places in the right time. Hurtful things happens but we all cross that point where one day we wake up and the pain is gone like we never experienced it at all.


3. That FAMILY is FAMILY. I have the best realization about family... They treat you like a slice of a cake: mouth watering, expensive with edible gold and delicious with the best icing and filling in the whole world  and when you crash down the ground, they pick you, try to make you look good again and take you in you as edible as you should be.


4. That if one of your dreams will be granted by all means it will be. No matter where or how, if this is the right time for it to come true. It will just happen. 


5. That if one of your dreams was granted and something happened then it's not for you. 


6. That if your dream is not yet granted... you don't stop dreaming... you dream bigger. 

Love, now and always,

Mia        

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mia always dreamt of becoming 5'8" or higher that goes with the reason why she wears higher platforms. She wears lighter makeup these days because her MAN is particular with INNER beauty. She's the same old shopaholic you now, splurging over stuffs that a part goes to charity. Today, she is not writing blogs and promos anymore. She ventured into marketing... selling souls to the devil. And oh wait, on her spare time, she writes short stories of love with tragic ending. Some of her published works are "Cries, Cameras and Actions", "8 folds", "The Boat", "All for Carlie", "Ragnarok Online Love Story" and "Resume of Lovers". 

When Someone Dies

Some years ago, I attended mass with a family of five: the married couple, two ladies older than me and my man friend. Their family are religious. I know for a time that their parents attended couple seminars that would make their relationship stronger. I know the two sisters too are very close to Christ. I'm not sure though if my man friend is as close to God. But I do know every Sunday their family go to Church, something my family often failed.


Several days ago, I dreamt about my man friend, dead in one of the most beautiful casket I've ever seen. It even beats the glass coffin our dear Snow White once laid. It was so fascinating to look into that you are flown away to paradise and confused why it was about death. This dream is weird... I'm dressed in white, admiring his beauty about to be buried 6 feet under and I'm not crying. 


When I woke up, I asked myself... is he dead? 


I opened my facebook the fastest way to get some death news nowadays. No post about it. Searched my friends if he was there, no signs of him. Could it be that his soul had the initiative of deleting his account? Checked my previous messages from him... none. 


I tried to remember the last time I talked to him. I can't remember the whole conversation. It was too long ago and I haven't heard anything about him too. But I know we had an argument, a little childish fight. I tried search the friends of my other friends, my man friend is nowhere to be found.


We argued, I remember. So, could he be on that place? I clicked my privacy setting and there "Blocked People and Apps" lying last. Clicked and Clicked and there he was. Though the memoirs of our fight is unclear, I'm quite sure it was a big fight. After removing him from the list of I wish I never knew this people, I refreshed and messaged him straight ahead... asking if he was dead and wishing he was alive. 


Then it hit me... no matter how bad and BIG BANG someone did to me when it comes to death, I care. We all care. 


When someone dies, we grieve, we regret, we cry, and we wish that at some point... death was just a dream and there's always a second chance to change things the way they are.

Love, now and always,

Mia        

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mia always dreamt of becoming 5'8" or higher that goes with the reason why she wears higher platforms. She wears lighter makeup these days because her MAN is particular with INNER beauty. She's the same old shopaholic you now, splurging over stuffs that a part goes to charity. Today, she is not writing blogs and promos anymore. She ventured into marketing... selling souls to the devil. And oh wait, on her spare time, she writes short stories of love with tragic ending. Some of her published works are "Cries, Cameras and Actions", "8 folds", "The Boat", "All for Carlie", "Ragnarok Online Love Story" and "Resume of Lovers". 

No Title Yet [Suggest a TITLE, will you?]

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning. He knocked at my door wearing his favorite #5 purple jersey that, he says, he only wears when his favorite game is on. 


Looking neat and his hair has grown since the last time I saw him. No moustache again, so he pretty much looks like 5 years younger than me. I opened the door. He greeted me with a short, Hi. I replied a smile. Who needs words in moments like these? He’s here. That’s what’s important, he’s here. 

We went inside; he gave me a bag of my favorite chocolates. Glad that it wasn’t candy this time. We walked and still no words are uttered… it’s like those scenes in silly chick flicks with violin serenades on the background, too dangerous to fill words this perfect scene.

We continued walking, our feet bringing us to the bedroom… No, we won’t make a scene. The next scene should go this way I would lie in bed. He would browse through my laptop and tell me, it’s too “girly” to break the silence in between. I will smile and ask, “Don’t you like it?” He will smile back.

But this time, he didn’t. After I lie on my bed, he went beside me, wrapped his arms around me. It’s all silence again. Now it’s my turn to break the ice. This silence is reaching zero degrees. But before I said a word, I heard a very familiar song… “party like… Party like it's the end of the world… We gonna party like, like it's 2012.” My daily alarm was singing. Grabbed it and tapped dismiss. When I look back, he was gone. Found a message on my phone, “I can’t come.”

Tinkerbell: You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you.

Love, now and always,

Mia        

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mia always dreamt of becoming 5'8" or higher that goes with the reason why she wears higher platforms. She wears lighter makeup these days because her MAN is particular with INNER beauty. She's the same old shopaholic you now, splurging over stuffs that a part goes to charity. Today, she is not writing blogs and promos anymore. She ventured into marketing... selling souls to the devil. And oh wait, on her spare time, she writes short stories of love with tragic ending. Some of her published works are "Cries, Cameras and Actions", "8 folds", "The Boat", "All for Carlie", "Ragnarok Online Love Story" and "Resume of Lovers". 

The 14 Likes Down There

As cheesy as this may sound, thanks to all who liked this site... the domain is nearing its expiration on Oct.... =(

I'm actually thinking of creating a new site... way much better than this... Like something more interactive? What you think?

love, now and always, 

Call Me Names

It's been a childhood dream to change my name to something shorter. Oh, not just as a child, I always dream of changing my name. In fact, every time that I am asked to tell them something about myself, I always tell them that if given a chance or if it is possible, I want my name to change my name to something girly. For one, I really wanted to follow the MARIA of my mother's name. 

Alexzandria Garnett is one of my girl dream names. I got this name from Final Fantasy IX. It's a game, a role playing game. This game happened in Alexandria and one of the most lovable character there is Garnett--the princess.


If I were a boy, I 'd like my name to be... Aethan Rafael. It is so masculine, sounds so good and and so unique. If I have that name and someone will call me, it feels like, I'm brave, a strong and knight in shining armor.

If I could choose my name... but I couldn't and I wouldn't because it's a gift to me. My name is precious and as I grow older, through the years I learned to love and treasure it. I know my name now is the sweetest word ever said, especially, when it is heard by my parents. Anyway, my dream names are not wasted... I will name them to my future children. 

love, now and always, 

Plans VS Zombies

Hello BER months. The year is ending. It wasn't a bad year after all. As early as now, I should start thinking about the changes I want for next year. So... as the year ends, hope that this post will be updated from time to time...

Plans.

• In ten years, I should be settled with my own house, car and starting my own business.
• 5 years from now, I’m done with grad. school.
• Four years to go, I should already won a Palanca.

Zombies.

• Skip shopping. 
• Buy "only" the things I need.
• Save money.
• One extra expensive gadget a year quota.
• Sleep earlier.
• exercise.

love, now and always,

 

Unanswered Prayer

I’m not religious and, definitely, not agnostic. But I pray, I worship. I know who to God. Couple of months back, I’ve been praying for something that is really important to me. I’m praying for this door that will open a lot of other doors for me.

 

Today… a part of the prayer was answered. The door didn’t open to me yet. But I’m next in line to get in. And if I don’t get in, I’ll never have the same chance again.

This one will break me. But I’ve gone this far… there’s no turning back. 

Please pray for me too... just this one. Thanks. :)

love, now and always,

 

Will be spending more time with B…

Baby? Babe?

Nope… with BOOKS.

In one of my previous entry, I mentioned that as a Filipino citizen I dream to study in the University of the Philippines. Out of the hundreds, I think, that applied--I’m one of the 41 MDC students that passed.

Call me lucky? No. I worked on this to pass. I choose the best references for my application. I went through the essay I submitted a hundred times to achieve perfection. And as crazy as this may sound, I answered my application form like taking an UPCAT.

Here’s the e-mail I got:

Here’s the list of the passers:

I’m excited for grad school, especially now that it’s UP. I’ll study hard and live only to one goddamn motto: “KEEP MY EYE ON THE PRIZE.”

love, now and always,

 

Tiny Steps to my Dreams

I never find studying at UP cool. For me, those who study there are of two things: genius and crazy. In my UPCAT way back 2004, I was able to pass a quota course, not in Diliman but in one of the UP campuses. But I didn’t consider the idea of studying there. I was quite lost at that time and not exactly sure if my chosen course would really work for me.

I enrolled at the Manila Times School of Journalism(Now The Manila Times College), preferred it over UP for it offers a three years jam-packed journalism course with ojt from day 1. I never thought that I’ll go gaga over journalism, like a little kid begging for a lollipop. That time, I just used the 3-year-course for some soul searching.

And believe it or not–I found my soul there, it became my home, my air, my love. Being there opened up a lot of opportunities for me that I believe even UP won’t open up for me. I have to say that I owe to The Manila Times School of Journalism, to The Manila Newspaper and to The Manila Times-Barangay News… mostly of what I am now. If not to them, my career won’t blossom as it is now.

When I finished studying, I went to the States for a vacation. With three years of full studying and only five weeks(3 weeks for enrollment every trimester, 1 week for xmas and 1 week for holyweek) vacation in all those years, I know I needed a break. I went to US to finalize my decisions, what prize to eye.

During my vacation there, I realized that I wanted to try a different way with Journalism. I’m good at news, I believe I am, so I decided to hit another target. I decided to try my luck in grad school. Right after my vacation, I considered two school and guess what, I’m now crawling after UP. But with the fascinating course description of MA Creative Writing with UST, I drooled for it more. I passed the exams and interviews in the two school. When I try to remember things now, I choose UST over UP for it doesn’t demand as much work experience as they demand in UP. Again, I preferred to be somewhere else over UP.

Grad school in UST was smooth. I know in my heart it was something I really wanted, wanting it like a diabetic patient needing insulin, until now. I love UST it’s just I have “deep” personal reasons why I’m delaying my course there. Also, with the workload and work schedule I have now, it will be lethal.

So do I have any other choice than UP now? For sure UP Alumni, students and fanatics would raise eyes brows with my statements. I won’t mind if some would say, “Man, who the hell is that girl to say UP is just an OPTION and a CHOICE? UP is the way to go.”

So why UP now? If you ask me, I don’t know either. Maybe that’s how playful life is no matter how you run away from your dreams and no matter how you lie about it… Truths will be revealed. Yes, I always dreamed of being a UP student. I may not spill it my undying love for it but deep down, crystal clear, as a Filipino Citizen– I always dreamed of studying at the University of the Philippines.

love, now and always,

Let's Talk About "FAME"

FAME. What's the first thing that comes to mind when the word "FAME" is mentioned?

Well, as for me it's Lady Gaga's album title. Also, the one thing I always dreamt of having eversince I'm a Kid.

The life of being in a place where every one would know me. Where my name is a household name. That the last pair of shoes I'm spotting, without doubt, belongs only to me and not to the fitter. Everyone knows where I live, down to the bottom of knowing my toothpaste brand.

My birthday would be celebrated by everyone like a special day in history. The tissue paper I just thrown is the next memorabilia. Everyone would be wanting to be in my place.

Perhaps like the next Madonna.
Could be the next American Idol.
Would love to be the next bill Gates.
Might as well be Angelina Jolie's reincarnation.
Write the next best thing after Stephanie Meyer, JK Rowlings and Dan Brown
Throw the next best line like "of the people, by the people, for the people" -Abraham Lincoln.
I will start and end the next civil war.
Be in Amelia Earhart shoes.
Elvis greatest heartache.
Or as simple and as popular as Mother Theresa.

Yes. It's a lifelong dream to be famous. But how?
I don't know if my blog reads reaches 10.
I don't have friends more 50.
My friendster has 120+ friends.
In Facebook, its too rare for someone to like and comment my posts.

How can I be the next big star?
Will I ever be an internet sensation?

I don't know. Life's full of surprises. But I never want to be famous a decade after my death like Picasso. I would love to live my fame, it to be my game.

love, now and always,

The dream

When I'm still a kid, I often tell people that I would want to be a Doctor. Back then in the 1990's that is the most popular ambition of kids particularly girls, for boys, their dreams are either becoming pilot, a military or a policeman.

The childhood ambition was also rooted to the frustrations of my Grand father Juanito in his sons/daughters of being one. My mother would tell me stories how Lolo would dream of having a Doctor in the Family. Mama, that's how we call mother, will tell me funny stories of my aunts and uncles faking lolo with Doctor costumes, to make him believe they are one.

Sadly, no one came close to his dreams... Some of my aunts almost had it but still failed. Two of my aunts actually stepped into the scientific world, to being a biologist and medical technician, which both can continue further studies in medicine, but later on ventured into another career.

My childhood dream(or could it be their dream) just didn't happen. I ventured into arts. I took up an AB degree in Journalism.

I first realized that I'm in the art of writing in the last years of my elementary. When I was in grade 5, my dad bought us a personal computer. That time we have a program installed "Spider man Activity Kit," there's an option there where I can do some news coverage for Spidey. I pretend to be the broadcaster narrating Spideys adventures... Mama once saw me doing this thing and encouraged me to considered being in broadcast/mass communication.

But an early age, coming from a family of big bellies, I know that my look wouldn't look so good on cameras. So I told myself that I would do something that is closer in broadcasting.

When I was in grade 6, I joined an essay writing contest and didn't win the grand prize. And that is where I realized who, what and where would I want to be. I want to be a writer--of anything. You can name it, I can try writing poems, stories, novels, short stories, ads, erotic, drama.. anything, I can try.

Writing more than a talent given to me is a curse. I just love writing and I want to believe that I'm good at it. I may not always be perfect in my grammar but I know what to write.

And so my dream is finally confirmed. In my high school, I joined different contests and trainings for it. In my college I enrolled in a journalism school. After school, I became a correspondent in a newspaper(broadsheet), freelanced for a game company and currently working for publishing company as their promo writer.

What I like most about writing is that I can do it easily and effortless. It's the easiest thing I can do, more than eating or walking. Yes, it requires a lot of brain processing but once I start it off it comes, goes and flows on naturally.

I didn't became the medicine doctor, my family and I dreamed to be.

I'm a writer.

"Let the word have it's life and it will live." - jamie laine meneses

love, now and always,