Chasing Palettes

by land, by sea,

hit the air--waves,

fly to me.

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

Agnostic

I often tell people that I'm agnostic--no God, no beliefs. But the truth is I only tell people that I'm agnostic so that they wouldn't ask about my faith: why I don't pray before and after meals, why I don't pray before and after bedtime, why I don't go to mass, I don't take the communion, and so on and so forth.

I truly believe in God. He is our creator. He is the supreme being who controls the world. He gave us His only Son... his son died on the cross for us to save us from our sins. He would come on the judgement day... to bring us to heaven and punish us to hell. 

Coming from a Catholic and Christian school, I know a lot of prayers--the different prayers we pray for the sick, living, dead, etc. Even the songs, I know a lot of songs to sing during masses, celebrations, etc.... as the great Saint Augustine said, "Singing is praying. When one sings one prays twice." 

These days, I've been talking to God a lot and bargaining Him half of my life for something I really wanted right now. But he's been hard to convince, playing hard to get all sudden. In the past months, He'd been answering my prayers as fast as the speed of light... answering prayers and wishes side by side. Everything was flawless. Not until June came--my birthday month. 

It's my birthday... Shouldn't He at anytime of the year punish me and not on my birthday? Can't it not wait, even just a day or two to let it pass? Don't Good Girls Deserve a Break Once in Awhile to the reality of life?

Yes, indeed, I am questioning God. Why does his decision have to be so firm now? Can't it break? Can't it wait a little while? Can't he stretch it a bit and give this girl what he wants? Can I really not have what I've been praying for now? 

I think his decisions are firm that I cannot have this... Or at least, I want to believe, not yet... not this time. 

love, now and always, 

My Forever

"and the next time that I will fall in love it'll be forever. "

I am a fan of Love Radio... as corny as it may sound.

I was in their station about 4/5 years ago interviewing Sexy Teri, my best friends' cousin. I also had the privileged of interviewing Monsour Betero, our "katalsik laway". And of course, mang Kadyot or Mang Pinong in real life.

I interview all three of them but chose to feature the inspirational story of Mang Pinong for my feature writing paper and it successfully boomed me a 1.25!

I was also able to meet Nicole Yala and Christsuper but they are not yet in their primes back then. Look at them now!!!

Why write about love radio all sudden?

To kill boredom on a "night with a next day-no work", I listened to the love radio. It's not my first time to listen to Papa Jack's True love Confesion. But, indeed, my first time to hear someone crying while sharing, for most of the time--its life's laughs' lessons.

The experience of the guy, alias-ly know as Patrick Garcia, is a rare case--at the least--to me. He is the one chasing the girl. His problem is too complicated. The loves another girl(lesbian). She is the mother of his child. He loves the girl so much. She just need her in times of need. Panakip Butas!

The guy can't move on to the girl.... he blames his past self for not striving for the girl, for not loving her that much. He cries every night wishing that the girl would come back. He even uttered remarkeable statements "ano bang dapat kong gawin para sumaya siya?"

But what's gone is gone. Truly life's lesson. Papa Jack ended the confesion with a wish for the guy... summarizing it ... he wished that the next girl that the guy will fall in love with would be his forever.


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Linking it to my life... yeah! I really wish that the next guys is going to be forever. I've been waiting for him all my life already and there's no way that I'm gonna stop waiting...

There's a lot of Q's like...

How come it takes forever to find the love of my life? Or for him to find me?
Is that special someone worth waiting for?
How long would I wait for his love to come around?

I don't know the answer to these questions, no hints nor clues. All I know is that I'm waiting for someone now. PATIENTLY. And, he's going to be my forever. No matter how long it would be.

love, now and always,