Of Ten Things

I don't have a favorite number. But if I should choose one I'll go for number 10. One, it's easy to remember and two the tenth letter in the alphabet is J--the first letter of my name.

Today is 10-10-10, The Tenth Day Of The Tenth Month Of The Tenth Year Of The Decade... I should have for this day... got married, bought a new car or a house, adopted a pet, spent the day with an orphanage or something. Kidding aside, I should've bought a plane ticket and spent the day with you...!



Ten Things to be Thankful:

1. I'm still alive
2. I'm living a peaceful life
3. I have a job [not the one that I really like thought but it still supports me]
4. I passed UP again [FYI, I passed 3 years ago but wasn't able to really enroll]
5. My mom's operation is successful [Thanks God!]
6. My brother is back in our family [The bitch is gone... Yes! I can say that it's my blog! RIGHT?!]
7. Marco, Julianne, Tito Pogs and Tita Irma visited us [and we'll be visiting them soon... hello USA]
8. My knee is not aching so much anymore [but I still have to visit the doctor for final check ups] 
9. I don't have any debts
10. I have a clear goal of what I want.

Ten things to look forward:

1. Grad school
2. FilmFest Competition Level Up! Live
3. Halloween, Christmas, New Year
4. Holidays
5. Reunion with my MF friends
6. Family out of town[probably somewhere far... CEBU? BOHOL? BORA?]
7. Wearing heels again[after the accident]
8. Shopping [when's the last time i bought something for myself.. for myself only]
9. E.L.F. 100+ eye shadow palette will be out in the market next month
10. My Christmas for a cause project.

Ten Things to Achieve/Learn:

1. Play chess
2. Swim good
3. Ride a bike
4. Finish my MA
5. Transfer to a new job[that's really right for my course]
6. Take Image Nation workshop
7. Join lots of  Writing competitions
8. Give more time to family
9. Give myself a "Me" time
10. Update my Journal regularly

Ten Things to Stop:

1. Sleeping late
2. Ignoring txt messages
3. Spending too much  
4. Cursing people
5. Hating _______.
6. Being nice to not so nice people
7. Giving out my fake smile
8. Skipping Doctor appointments 
9. Skipping Breakfast
10. Acting like an evil person... [it was fun when people look at me differently, though]

love, now and always, 

Fairly Odd Reason Why I don’t Yosi

I used to smoke. Mom knows it. I don’t know if anyone else in the family knows. Don’t get it wrong… As a writer, smoking frees my mind and let’s me express my self, especially when I write.

I was way young when I tasted a cigarette, perhaps 6 or 7 years old when my uncle asked me to throw the cigarette, he just finished. Just out of curiosity, I tasted it and I never really liked it since then.

I smoked again when I was in high school, with the encouragement of my peers. Well, not really, I smoked only because everyone else is smoking… I don’t want to die of cancer with all their second hand smoke.

I went full blast smoking when I was in college and when I was still a newspaper correspondent. Also, most of the writers smoke to.

Yosi buddy: Why don’t you just stop smoking?

Me: Why do you ask?

Yosi buddy: Well… it’s not you.

Me: What do you mean not me?

Yosi: Well, you never skip class, you work after class too… you tell your mom your whereabouts, you always say opo…

Me: So you think I’m an angel now..

Yosi buddy: No… you’re just like a… smoke free zone… no smoking area…

Me: Oh… so sweet.

Yosi buddy: and you had some lung problems before… you should stop.

Me: only if you stop too.

That’s when I stopped.

I don’t exactly remember what lung problem I had when I was little. All I remember is that when Mom asks me to drink medicines, she would draw a circle and put a lot of dots on it and tells that me if I don’t drink the meds that’s what going to happen to my lungs.

Now, I don’t smoke anymore… I only smoke when someone in a big, big problem asked me to accompany him/her while he/she is smoking and slash or everyone else is smoking around me—I don’t want to die of second hand smoke.

And definitely, I don’t want to die of smoking.

love, now and always,

 

Leaving.

“How many times have I told myself that I’m going to quit you only to find out that I’m two steps back?” -mia

Is there such this as a good… bye?

Is there?

I was transferred to a new room that is not so new to me.

Trying to fit in a crowd not so new to me.

Sitting with my bosses.

Melting.

Crushing on the guy, loving the girl.

This is another new exciting sad thing about working. From the E-learning room of Vibal, I was transferred to the I don’t know what room is this? PRD? Corp Comm? Or to be simple… the room “in or near Sales.”

I LOVE E-LEARNING

If there was a group of people that truly welcomed me here in Vibal it was them. Sir Alfred was the first person I ate lunch with here and made me so comfortable. Mar, Sol, and King, the knights of E-learning failed to give me company at first—for I was too shy to bond with boys. But when Sally—my bestest friend ever in Vibal—came, E-learning votled in 1 solid, sticky-gummy, rugbied team. Then came Kuya dong and dongkey. It was perfect… but I have to leave and go to the department I belong.

I love PRD/Corp Comm. My boss is the easiest to approach boss in Vibal, on top of that she listens and understands. My other boss, the “he”, is a major reason for a major KO. He’s totally a hands down—brain, body and beautiful (married with kids). Dunno, liked him the 1^st time, I met him. He is a “no-batman” but fun joker. My partner is the Mr. Friendship of Vibal. I believe no one can ever do the things he does; he greets everyone around, smiles and charms everyone. And I never had a low toned moment with him.

E-learning is home to me and my heart rested there for awhile and changes seems so hard to swim now. I know I belong in PR and this is where life, lungs, love is. It takes time…. Takes time to fall and drown in love. But I heart both.

LEAVING.

My partner, JR is leaving as well. And soon, I know I will too. JR’s life is planned before he entered Vibal. I started planning my life here and realized a lot of things. Lucky him… he is in two places at once: the place where he should be and the place where his heart beats. :)

love, now and always,

Shadow

You really don’t know what love is until you get to a point where you’re ready to trade ten years of your life for a single kiss, all your wealth for a single touch, or when you’re willing to leave someone you’ve been with the last decade for a total stranger. Love isn’t about the time you spent with someone, or the challenges you’ve gone thru together... It’s about that rush of butterflies in your stomach or that single heartbeat that says..."I’d rather have a day with this person than spend an eternity with someone else..".

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Freeze. No one moves, unless I said so. But no one stopped. The world moves, changes from time to time—ignoring me, ignoring you.

It goes around like a carousel, turning, circling, not knowing who rides. It goes around like time, twitching past hour, rush hour, last hour. It forgets me, it forgets you. Only remembers if you do something dangerous. Only remembers you doing extraordinary. Always forgets what values you. Always leaves.

Sometimes, it feels like you don’t belong, alone. And when you feel like no one’s there, maybe a shadow here waits. Like Me. Maybe a shadow here needs. Like Me.

Step inside, touch, twist. Be carried.

I wish I was your shadow.

love, now and always,