b r e a k u p l i n e s

1. (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R
   (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R
   (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? F
   Relationship failed.
2. ...you looked better on Myspace...
3. Actually, I think I see you more as a friend than anything else.
4. After I saw you sober, I knew I made a mistke.
5. After you e-mailed me your full-body shot, I realized I was looking
   for someone more feminine
6. Because I am not in love, I don't think I can make love to you anymore.
7. Befor i meet you I was not whole! Now i know half a man is better than nothing!
8. Do you really want to know why I go out to dinner with my assistant?
9. Do you remember when I’ve said everything is alright?
10. Don't bother coming over tomorrow night because I don't wanna see you anymore.
11. Ever since we started dating, I just don’t have the time to do the things that are important to me. I love you, but I want to spend more time golfing and painting.”
12. Give me back my keys.
13. Grab some beer while your out shopping...for a new place to stay.
14. Hallmark didn't have a "let's break up" card, so I made my own...
15. Have I told you latley how much I am in love with you??? No?? Think about it, have a great life...
16. Have you always been so boring?
17. Here's my phone number: 867-5309.
18. How can I put this ...my definition of misery has now become you.
19. How can I put this... forget I exist?
20. How much would it cost me to buy back my introduction to you?
21. How will I know I want to spend the next 50 years with you unless I date other people?
22. I am breaking up with you now before you get too attached to me....so I am doing you a sort of favour, aren't I?
23. I can't be with you because you are graduating and I never went to college.
24. I can't see myself with you when I am eighty.
25. I can't see you anymore. Your house is a tip and mine is spotless and I'm a bloke.
26. I couldn't ask you to trust me again after the way I've behaved, it wouldn't be fair.
27. I don't know how to say this, so I am just going to say it...when I am with you I feel like I suck at life almost as much as you do. Being with you is almost as painful as looking at you and thinking about what a waste of space and life you really are.
28. I don't love you any more.
29. I don't mind the idea of working it out. It's the reality of it that I'm done with.
30. I don't need the hassle any more than you do, so I'll say 'goodbye.
31. I don't think we should date any more, but we can still be on each other's buddy lists.
32. I don't want you to feel like I'm breaking up with you. I just can't be in a relationship with you anymore."
33. I feel like this break up has made our relationship so much stronger.
34. I feel like this break up has made our relationship so much stronger.
35. I get so emotional when your not around.. I think the emotion is called happiness.
36. I hate life. And by life, I don't mean my life, but all life on earth.
37. I hate you, you hate me, what are we waiting for? Let's do it.
38. I have a lot of growing up to do.
39. I just cant live with the pathetic tickles that you call 'sexual thrusts' anymore
40. I just can't. I can't take the risk because I really don't think I like you anymore.
41. I just want to be a typical teenage guy.
42. I knew it wouldn't last when you forget to mention that you were a mom (3x...by three different guys...)
43. I know it took me two years to finally get you out on a date, but now I'm feeling tied down...
44. I love my mother more than I love you. Get your stuff and get out.
45. I love my mother more than I love you. Get your stuff and get out.
46. I miss being HAPPY!
47. I moved things TOO fast between us which was NOT right.
48. I need a lover who understands that 20 hours a day on the Internet is normal.
49. I really want to thank you for teaching me a really important lesson about life: it's way better without you.
50. I see where this is going -- towards a relationship. I have a lot of demands on my time, and I just don't have the space and time to devote to one.
51. I still care about you, but I gotta screw my own head on straight and figure out who I am by myself, and then settle down
52. I suppose I love you, but I'm not "in love" with you. I could never love you like I loved my ex-wife.
53. I think we have three choices: 1) stay together, 2) take a break, or 3) break up entirely, and I want 2 or 3.
54. I think we would be better off friends.
55. I think you're a lovely woman, but I've just come out of a relationship, and the reason I did is because I didn't want to be in one. I want to free - if you know what I mean.
56. I thought about us in 5 years, and after the projectile vomiting eased, I realized we need to talk.
57. I tried selling the old stuff, gifts you gave me, but your so cheap that nothing was worth anything!
58. I undoubtedly did love you, but those feelings got worn down over time with the way our relationship went. I don't blame you at all for what happened, but think it was one of those things where we drifted apart for all sorts of reasons, including your illness, and the pressure of supporting you through various crisis’s
59. I want be able to see other women without hurting you.
60. I want you to have a good life and please make sure that I'm no longer in it. . .
61. I was so miserable when you left... it was almost like you were still here.
62. I wish I had just stayed your friend. 
63. I would rather live in my car and be a drug addict than spend another moment with you.
64. I...um...just don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I want. I don't feel comfortable going forward with this.
65. I'd like a true beauty so I don't have to spend so much time photoshopping your ugly face out of our photos.
66. I'd put this delicately, but, i don't care anymore - you are literally sapping my will to live.
67. I'd put this delicately, but, i don't care anymore - you are literally sapping my will to live.
68. if i had one wish...i would wish you away from me
69. I'm going to ask you nicely....LOOSE MY PHONE NUMBER!
70. I'm just not ready to date anyone right now. I still really really like you.
71. I'm leaving. Do you want me to go tonight or tomorrow?
72. I'm not at all looking for a relationship right now. i am really trying to build up my circle of friends right now and I'm so glad i met you!
73. I'm not crying because you're leaving I'm crying because you haven't left already.
74. I'm not pushing you away; I'm not making any decisions right now, but I'm confused, and I'm hurting, and I am not over my last relationship
75. I'm not putting the brakes on this, I'm just orienting it towards another direction.
76. I'm so miserable because your leaving. If you could just pack your things faster, so that I could not be miserable watching you leave and start celebrating the fact that you've finally left.
77. I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me
78. I'm sure you've met my new girlfriend, she's been your best friend for 8 years.
79. It just occurred to me that I can't keep doing this; what we're doing is wrong in so many ways.
80. It wont work, your boobs have gotten bigger than mine.
81. It's like in X-Men number 135, where Cyclops and Jean Grey (as The Phoenix)...
82. It's not like if we tried for the rest of our lives, you would get to be better in bed
83. It's not that you're not hot.  It's just that your friend is not not the hottest person I've ever met.
84. It's not you or me or even us...It's your mom, she's a complete psycho.
85. It's not you, it's me -- but technically it's me WITH you.
86. It's not you, it's me.  I'm just totally not interested in you.
87. It's not your fault. It's me.
88. It's pointless for us to be together because I'm going away in 11 months for university.
89. I've decided I'm just not ready for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
90. I've found someone else. I'm so sorry. Shall we go tell the kids?
91. I've lied.
92. I've never really felt passion with you. Well maybe a little. But I've never felt anything so deep and intense like I did with my ex.
93. Let's face it. You love Intel, and I'm an AMD man. It's not going to work out.
94. Life is too short to make mistakes.
95. Listen, these bloody scratches on my back weren't caused by another lover, it was my 3-year old son.
96. Look, I'm turning 16 soon, and I really just need my freedom!
97. Music is just more important to me than you are. But I love you so, so much as a friend.
98. n When I look at you I want to smile, then point and laugh for ever tinking of dating you again :)
99. Nothing has changed between us. None of the intimacy that we have has been lost. I just want to explore my feelings for someone else, that's all.
100. now and forever - now you leave and make sure it's forever
101. Now that Half Life 2 is out, I need to refocus my priorities.
102. Now that you are gone, apparently it wasn't therapy I needed.
103. Oh yeah- I did love you- I said size doesn't matter- now I don't love you- so it really matters now
104. once you were running through my head night and day and now I wish you runaway....
105. One of my ex's told me while he was breaking up with me that his biggest beef was that I didn't scoop his dinner onto his plate for him.
106. really like you, you're a lovely woman and we have great fun  - you're just not a long-term prospect.
107. roses are red violets are blue garbage is dumped and so are you
108. Roses are red, violets are... ah the hell with it. Get your crap and get out.
109. So long and thanks for all the fish.
110. Something tells me you and I aren't right, and I have to act on that
111. Sorry, You're not the one"
112. The only thing worse than being alone, is being with you.
113. The other day I woke up feeling so happy and free; it's because you were not there...
114. The sex is great, but I just don't love you.
115. The two years that we've been together, a part of me has been lost, but I have now found myself so it's goodbye.
116. There's only so many times a girl can fake it...and I've passed that about 6 months ago...they say things are supposed to get better with practice and if 2 1/2 years isn't enough practice then I don't know what is.
117. This is MY gig, and if you CAN'T GET that it's MY gig, then there is no place for you in my life. There's NO more (me) and (you).
118. This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I'm single.
119. We don't DO our emotional business in the same way.
120. We don't make each other happy, is that what you want to hear?
121. We don't see each other that much anymore, and I'm content with the way things are right now.
122. We have the perfect love at the wrong time...I'm so sorry.
123. We have to many music differences. I really like the new Radiohead stuff and you're just into the old stuff.
124. We need to talk.
125. Well, I don't think just not talking to you is going to be enough space for me.
126. We're not stable enough for a dog. I need to find someone else."
127. What do you mean your EULA says that once I've removed the shrink wrap I can't return it?
128. Whatever feelings I had for you in the beginning, I have lost in the end.
129. When I said I needed more space what I ment is that I needed my own place.
130. When I told you I love you I thought I knew what love was all about but now I think I was just having a bad case of gas and not butterflies.
131. Where do we go from here? We've done everything already.
132. Yes, I love you, but I really, really hate you too.
133. You and me don't click, but here's something that does * hangs up phone*
134. You are like a sister/brother to me.
135. You don't smile enough. Saying you are happy and looking it are two different things.
136. You given me your love and I have only given you my friendship, so I have been mulling it over for the last two years, and decided it is not fair to you. It is not your fault it is me.
137. You had me at 'hello', and you lost me at 'my name is...'
138. You have been unsubscribed from my dating list. Please click this link to confirm.
139. You know what today is? Today is the day our relationship ends.
140. You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal - so F**K off!
141. You simply can't make the heart feel something it won't, and mine won't I am sorry.
142. You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it.
143. You were once the flower in my garden. Now you are just a weed!
144. Your gonna need a bandaid...cause you've just been cut....
145. You're just the first to go so I can have more time to do my art. The second will be my job.
146. You're just the first to go so I can have more time to do my art. The second will be my job.
147. You're my best friend and I love you, but you need to be independent of me."
148. You're my best friend in the world, and I love you to death...but you're like a sister to me.
149. You're right, I am a lying whore. I lied, size DOES matter.
150. You've done nothing wrong. It's me...I've just lost interest. Take care of yourself."

love, now and always,