So Remember Me One Day as Kind

 When I die, I want people to remember me as kind.

It hasn’t always been that way. Four years ago, I was a very different person, a wounded, guarded, and shaped by an environment that didn’t bring out the best in me. But life, in its mysterious way, gave me a chance to start over. Being in a new place, surrounded by new people, allowed me to choose who I wanted to become and how I wanted to be remembered.

God has a way of taking us out of places where we would suffer. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

Today, my plans have changed. The future I once envisioned has shifted, and in many ways, it feels uncertain. But I hold on to the promise that if God is not giving something to me right now, then He is making space for something better. Waiting isn’t easy, but faith teaches us that delays are not denials.

I haven’t been well since February. My body is weaker now, and my heart—both physically and emotionally—has felt the weight of it. The thing about the heart is, when it gives up, it can happen in a split second. Life can change or end....without warning.

So while I’m here, I want to live with kindness. I want to speak words that lift others up, choose grace over bitterness, and leave behind memories that will make people smile when they think of me.

And when that day comes, whenever it may be… remember me one day as KIND.

Life Lately in Version Way After 2.OH

 I guess I'm back in this space. 

If my childhood friend and classmate Kristin didn't encourage me to create Xanga, I don't think I would pursue writing or anything close to the creative profession. 

I would probably walk in the footsteps of my parents, mirror the decisions of my brother, or take the hardest road to Law or Medicine. 

📷: Vanessa

My thoughts are all over the place now as I type this because I really want to tell you how the great last 10+ years have been... so many crazy-unimaginable opportunities. All the places I've been. All the stories. All the blood. All the sweat. All the tears. 

I said GREAT. Not perfect but wouldn't really have it any other way. 

So going back, I guess I'm back to this space. 

Give me time to process and live the moment and the same reason why I love writing. It never left my heart but writing here again, means a lot to me. This blog has always been my safe space where I can be me and just doing this again gives me the same fire and ice in the beginning. 

Expect more chikka and snippets about my life. Or maybe not. 

But promise me that you will also not hold back this time and LIVE your life to the fullest. 

Be crazy. Be really HAPPY. 

Take the risk if it means you can WIN it all. 

Just LIVE. 

But don't forget to be KIND too. 

Love, now and always still,

M

Strawberry Chaos Daydream

When I told myself that I'm going to forget about him, I was in it to win it.

Believe me, I did EVERYTHING.

But after doing every little thing, I am back to the page I skipped too few times,

Your profile.

And it reads, I've been dead inside for a long time.

Well, you can live. It's a choice you can make.

But you can't live checking my LINKEDIN profile, run like hell away from this, and forget about what you truly felt just because you are feeling so sorry about yourself and consumed comparing our achievements.... when you know, your heart knows, my biggest achievement is nothing compared to having been able to love you.

To the young me and you

It's been too long since I posted on this blog and I'm not really sure if anyone is reading this. But if you do, thank you for being there.

A lot has changed about me and about my life. I will share more what happened at work and the path I chose to take soon. But for now, I want to write a blog dedicated to my old, young self. I have been so  focused on what the future will be and didn't even thank the young me.

The young me was self-centered, stubborn and always felt she was alone. Yes, maybe because growing up, my parents is not really with me all the time. It took awhile for the old me to accept and understand that. But growing up without parents, taught that little girl to be independent, to stand for decisions, even break some rules and take responsibility for it.

I didn't have too many friends even before because my Grandparents protected me too much. I am not allowed to play outside and go with random people which helped me now... Living alone is not that hard to do. I don't depend my happiness on friends. I don't need the assurance of anyone to make myself better. I enjoy the company of the small circle of friends that I truly keep inside my heart but, at the same time, I enjoy me times. I can sit all day dreaming, watching TV series, reading or just bumming around. It's a talent but of course, we have things to do in life so let's keep moving.

The young and in love me is also the reason why I am still single now. She was heartbroken, reprimanded to entertain boys (which, I now know why I shouldn't), and hoped too much. Young love, sweet love and the kilig I get from side stares at the hallways of the school. The meant to be dance partners as if the stars aligned. I go back, close my eyes to the feelings and it was maybe 2002 again... Those made me believe that true love is on its way, to never lose hope and destiny will find the older me.

And finally, thanks to the young me who tried and tried and tried. I guess I'm the type who never really get it the first time or maybe even the second try but what matters is I get to achieve it at some point. Trying, hard work and positivity that one day, some day I will get it. I guess, we don't really get what we want because when we already got it  there's already a new goal or another dream waiting on the line... These things keep us on the ground to make us keep on trying.

Thanks to the young me for loving to live and who made this life worth living. You deserve where you are now.

HAPPY EASTER

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

While I wait for you

I stare at the star. I wait. I pray. I wish. I cry. 

20 Ways You Can Be The Best Friend Ever

1. A real friend is not just a friend, but a family
2. A real friend is always there for you
3. A real friends' friend are your friends too.
4. A real friend is happy with your achievements even though it competes against their own. #friendly #competition
5. A real friend's Ex boyfriend/girlfriend is off limits.
6. A real friend will always Sacrifice for you
7. A real friend gives the best hugs
8. A real friend knows when to shut up
9. ...and talk until the friend gets it!
10. A real friend never lies!
11. A real friend always puts the happiness of their friend first... if that will truly make their friend happy.
12. A real friend is never NICOLE! #thelegalwife #lol
13. A real friend will always "share a load" in times of 0 balance 
14. A real friend will be there in times of trouble... and even trouble you cause to your friend #hahaha
15. A real friend will respect your opinions, wants and needs 
16. A real friend will always why the friend is a difficult friend TODAY.
17. A real friend will Still be the "friend" after being friendzoned
18. A real friend will always trusts your instinct
19. A real friend will be honest no matter how much it will hurt 
20. A real friend calls

 “With GoUnli20, it’s now easy to call without a need for a prefix and it’s just P20 for unli calls, 15mb of mobile surfing, and 20 texts to all networks! Kaya if you need a friend, don’t call me, I’ll call you!”

http://www.globe.com.ph/prepaid/gounli20

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

Si Adrian, Nicole at Monica

Si Adrian

Minsan si Adrian ka kapag wala kang magawa. Di ka makaiwas. D ka makawala. Nagpapadala ka sa bugso ng damdamin. Sa kapusukan. Sa karupukan. Ikaw si Adrian, kapag ang motto mo ay, "nasa huli ang pagsisisi." Si Adrian ka... Kapag kahit itry mo ng 100 times wala na. Basag na.

Si Nicole 

Ikaw si Nicole kung pakiramdam mo kailangan mo ng pagmamahal. Kung para sayo mararamdaman mo lang na totoong mahal ka kung maaagaw mo ang minamahal ng iba. Handa kang sumabay sa agos. Handa kang gawing tanga at baliw ang sarili mo. Kahit na hindi ikaw ang una, ok lang sayo. Ikaw si Nicole dahil... Alam mo ang pinasok mo pero ayaw mo lumabas.

At ikaw si Monica.

Oo ikaw. Pero hindi ito ang Monica na kilala ng lahat. Nakukubli sa isang mapagmahal na ina ang Monica-ng kinatatakutan ng lahat ng Adrian at Nicole sa mundo. 

Ito ang Monica na mapagpanggap. Ang Monica na hindi marunong tumanggap ng pagmamahal. Ang Monica na hindi alam ang ibig sabihin ng sakripisyo. Ang Monica na walang pakialam sa pamilya. 

Ang Monica na hindi kuntento sa kung ano ang meron siya. Ang Monica na hindi tapat sa kanyang asawa. Ang Monica na tinanggalan ng karapatan ang kanyang sarili na lumigaya. Ang Monica na pinagkait sa kanyang anak ang isang buo, masaya at tahimik na pamilya. 

Ang Monica na masahol pa kay Adrian at Nicole. 

X-MEN: Days of Future Past

The X-Men send Wolverine to the past in a desperate effort to change history and prevent an event that results in doom for both humans and mutants.

 the movie trailer:

a.  What would you correct from your past to save the future?

I'd conserve more water, never use plastic for not so important thing and shouldve start earth hour since the day I was born. 

What if the future is not as good as everyone dreamt it to be?

So what?

That's what's good about dreams, 
we wait-----make it happen. 

And I remember losing everything when I lost you.

Don't you think I cannot lose some more?

Lose this battle? 

Win the war. 

Wait for the sunlight.

Take the last word. The last beat. 

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

I DESERVED AN EXPLANATION. I DESERVED AN ACCEPTABLE REASON!

Starting Over Again

Published on Jan 18, 2014

Starting Over Again is a film by Olivia M. Lamasan
Starring Piolo Pascual and Toni Gonzaga
Showing in Philippine cinemas Feb 12, 2014
Produced by Star Cinema

http://facebook.com/StarCinema
http://twitter.com/StarCinema
http://instagram.com/StarCinema

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

2014 Philippine Holidays

This year we have 18 holidays and 4 long weekends according to Proclamation No. 655 signed by President Benigno Aquino III.

4 long weekends:

- Chinese New Year Weekend (Jan 31)

- Holy Week long weekend (April 18, 19, 20)

- Long Weekend on National Heroes day (August 23, 24, 25)

- Christmas LONGESTTTTTTTTTTTTT Weekend!!! (Dec 24, 25, 26)

Don't care about the holidays? Workaholic? 
Take a look on how well it pays to work during holidays!

SO are you packing your bags? Or unpacking it? =P 
Pays well to be workaholic... whatchuthink? 

source: Philippine Official Gazette

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

Olay Conversations, Proud of My Age #OlayProudOfMyAge

Olay really knows that a woman’s beauty is not measured by her physical appearance alone. BUT it is also greatly defined by what's inside her.

Recently, Olay Philippines launch Olay Conversations,  a series of web episodes or “webisodes” with Boy Abunda featuring intimate, no-holds-barred interviews with women. 

You might have come across The Conversations during TV commercials where you will see Boy Abunda on an interview with a celebrity / prominent personality. But that's only the teaser. Watch the Videos below to be captivated by the whole thing: 

Olay Conversations with Denise Laurel

Olay Conversations with Bea Alonzo

Olay Conversations with Crickette Tantoco

Olay Conversations with Priscilla Meirelles-Estrada

Olay Conversations continues with Mons Romulo

Mikee, Proud of My Age with OLAY

Nikki, Proud of My Age with OLAY

Mandy, Proud of My Age with OLAY

Camille, Proud of My Age with OLAY

That's inspiring right? As Olay brand manager Justin Lladoc said to PhilStar, “We want to help women challenge what’s possible in anti-aging and be their ally in fearlessly facing all the challenges that come their way. We want to help them meet these needs and lessen their fears and worries because they can count on the best product innovations with accelerated and long-lasting results. We hope we can help women face anything life has to offer and inspire them with the stories featured in Olay Conversations.”


More Videos at: Olay Ph

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

2014 Color of the Year : RADIANT ORCHID

Pantone Reveals Color of the Year for 2014: PANTONE 18-3224 Radiant Orchid Expressive, exotic Radiant Orchid blooms with confidence and warmth CARLSTADT, N.J., Dec. 5, 2013 – Pantone, an X-Rite company and the global authority, today announced PANTONE® 18-3224 Radiant Orchid, a captivating, magical, enigmatic purple, as the color of the year for 2014. “While the 2013 color of the year, PANTONE 17-5641 Emerald, served as a symbol of growth, renewal and prosperity, Radiant Orchid reaches across the color wheel to intrigue the eye and spark the imagination,” said Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute®. “An invitation to innovation, Radiant Orchid encourages expanded creativity and originality, which is increasingly valued in today’s society.” “An enchanting harmony of fuchsia, purple and pink undertones, Radiant Orchid inspires confidence and emanates great joy, love and health. It is a captivating purple, one that draws you in with its beguiling charm.” Radiant Orchid for Fashion Radiant Orchid’s rosy undertones radiate on the skin, producing a healthy glow when worn by both men and women. A dazzling attention-getter, Radiant Orchid permeated the runways during the spring 2014 fashion shows and is already making its way onto the red carpet. Fashion designers featured in the PANTONE Fashion Color Report Spring 2014, including Emerson by Jackie Fraser-Swan, Juicy Couture and Yoana Baraschi, are incorporating Radiant Orchid into their spring collections and variations of this hue will carry into men’s and women’s clothing and accessories throughout next year. Radiant Orchid for Beauty A modern and surprisingly versatile shade, Radiant Orchid enlivens the skin, making all who wear it feel more healthy and energetic. Blending both cool and warm undertones, purple is an appealing hue for distinctive combinations and flattering to many hair, eye and skin tones. This multifaceted hue is seductive when combined with red and pairs well with its sister shades of lavender, purple and pink, which provides an assortment of lipstick and blush options. Radiant Orchid’s exuberance also acts as a brilliant finishing touch to nails. Radiant Orchid for Interiors Spruce up interior spaces by incorporating this eye-catching hue in paint, accent pieces and accessories. As adaptable as it is beautiful, Radiant Orchid complements olive and deeper hunter greens, and offers a gorgeous combination when paired with turquoise, teal and even light yellows. Likewise, the vibrant color is sure to liven up neutrals including gray, beige and taupe. Uplifting and bold without being overpowering, Radiant Orchid reenergizes almost any color palette and provides a unifying element for diverse spaces. Cross-Referencing to Other PANTONE Libraries PANTONE 18-3224 Radiant Orchid can also be cross-referenced to all other PANTONE Libraries including PANTONE PLUS for graphic design. For cross-referencing information, see www.pantone.com/ColoroftheYear. About the PANTONE Color of the Year The color of the year selection requires careful consideration and, to arrive at the selection, Pantone quite literally combs the world looking for color influences. This can include the entertainment industry and films that are in production, traveling art collections, hot new artists, popular travel destinations and other socio-economic conditions. Influences may also stem from technology, availability of new textures and effects that impact color, and even upcoming sports events that capture worldwide attention. For more than a decade, Pantone’s Color of the Year has influenced product development and purchasing decisions in multiple industries, including fashion, home and industrial design, as well as product packaging and graphic design. Past colors include: PANTONE 17-5641 Emerald (2013) PANTONE 17-1463 Tangerine Tango (2012) PANTONE 18-2120 Honeysuckle (2011) PANTONE 15-5519 Turquoise (2010) PANTONE 14-0848 Mimosa (2009) PANTONE 18-3943 Blue Iris (2008) PANTONE 19-1557 Chili Pepper (2007) PANTONE 13-1106 Sand Dollar (2006) PANTONE 15-5217 Blue Turquoise (2005) PANTONE 17-1456 Tigerlily (2004) PANTONE 14-4811 Aqua Sky (2003) PANTONE 19-1664 True Red (2002) PANTONE 17-2031 Fuchsia Rose (2001) PANTONE 15-4020 Cerulean (2000) About Pantone and the Pantone Color Institute Pantone LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of X-Rite, Incorporated, is the global color authority and provider of professional color standards for the design industries. Pantone products have encouraged colorful exploration and expressions of creativity from inspiration to implementation for more than 50 years. Through the Pantone Color Institute, Pantone continues to chart future color direction and study how color influences human thought processes, emotions and physical reactions. Pantone furthers its commitment to providing professionals with a greater understanding of color and to help them utilize color more effectively. Always a source for color inspiration, Pantone also offers designer-inspired products and services for consumers. More information is available at www.pantone.com. For the latest news, trends, information and conversations, connect with Pantone on Facebook, Twitter,Pinterest and Instagram and the Pantone Blog. About X-Rite X-Rite, Incorporated, is the global leader in color science and technology. The company, which now includes color industry leader Pantone, develops, manufactures, markets and supports innovative color solutions through measurement systems, software, color standards and services. X-Rite's expertise in inspiring, selecting, measuring, formulating, communicating and matching color helps users get color right the first time and every time, which translates to better quality and reduced costs. X-Rite serves a range of industries, including printing, packaging, photography, graphic design, video, automotive, paints, plastics, textiles, dental and medical. For further information, please visit www.xrite.com. PANTONE®…The color of ideas℠. - # # # - PANTONE® and other Pantone trademarks are the property of Pantone LLC. © 2013. All rights reserved. Lowe’s is a registered trademark of LF, LLC. All rights reserved. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

source: http://www.pantone.com

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

Chasing Palettes

by land, by sea,

hit the air--waves,

fly to me.

hearts and flowers,
Mia

"Si tu crois un jour tu m'aimes "If someday you think you love me,
Ne le consid're pas comme un proble'me Don't consider it a problem,
Mais cours, oui, cours jusqu'a perdre haleine Just run, yes, run till you're out of breath,
Viens me retrouver." Come and find me."

The Turning Point

Everyone reaches that turning point. It’s the steep bridge that you have to cross because you don’t have another way out. The decision making. The “letting go” part. The “I need to move on” side. The “THIS IS IT”. 

Tonight, it’s all about that. But let me tell you about this guy first. Because one day he will read this and he will realize that “I’m the one that got away”. 

What’s he like? Well, he’s the type of guy that when you pass him on the street, you wouldn’t even mind a second look. He’s ordinary. Solid. Liquid. Gas. Not water, not salt. Never H20, never NaCl. PLAIN. 

So what is it about him now that gave me rollercoaster of emotions? Like Butterflies, fireworks, stars. What’s on him that gave me the closest thing one can feel to magic? Honestly, I REALLY don’t know. I think that FREAKS you out RIGHT NOW.... But that's how it is. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT HIM BUT I LIKE HIM.

Sounds like a teenage dream thing but I like his smile, the sound of his voice, when he calls me Miel, when he laughs, how he smells, when he holds my hand, I love how he talks, how he thinks… How he isn’t sure about himself that he’s worth it…. I love how he’s got no idea how great he is. I love how he puts others first than himself. Everything and Anything... I love it.

I can give you 20 more paragraphs of "I love this and that" about this guy... and it will sound so redundant because I know I will keep on repeating the same things.  But what can you do? Those are the things that I like about him. Those are the things that right now defines what I feel. That's what I know love is right now.

IT hurts. Definitely. Devastatingly. But  in hurting, I realized that when we love, we need not to be with the person. We don’t have to OWN them. We can love secretly. Stalk secretly. And I decided that I will hold myself from moving on SECRETLY. 

I mean I have to cross the brigde but I can go back in the wee hours of the night… close my eyes… think about him… say a prayer. I magine things what could have been. Dream and wish of another chance with him... Still tell him that I love him in silence. Whisper to God that I love him and ask God to always take care of him and continue making him happy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the whole world need not to know if I still love him or I moved on. GETS???? 

waiting for my star to fall,  
 Mia      

Pulling Myself Back

It’s been years now since that moment. It took everything I had to pull myself back together. I thought this time around I’m so much stronger. Bullet-proof. Ready for the storm, ready for the hurricanes, ready for tsunami, ready for anything that can make World Trade Center down. 

But I’m wrong. I’m not as strong as I think I am. On the contrary, I became fluffier. Softer. Weaker. Oh, What love can do?

Have you ever been to that phase where the one you love isn’t willing to love you back? Have you ever been to that phase when you are willing to give everything or trade anything in this world for God to like work his magic and make you and this certain person meant to be together forever?

STOP. I think this is getting too dramatic and too heavy. I don’t want to continue writing. I might divulge all the information and all my emotions…. All that I can say is that I really like this certain guy and he’s not that into me. 

What do I do? Cry? No. Time to face reality. I guess, I need to work so hard again to put myself back.

waiting for my star to fall,  
 Mia      

When we love

Love's greatest form is to sacrifice ones life for another. Like how Jesus died on the cross for us. But now, no one needs to get killed. Maybe, love is the greatest when one sacrifices, in any and even in the simplest forms of sacrifice.

When we love, we don't expect anything back. When one confesses love to the other person, it is almost always that the person who confessed, already accepted that it will never be a win-win situation. It will be one sided and unrequited but, way better, than love that is kept in the deepest unknown grounds of the heart.

That's the thing about love, you know what it really means only when you are loved back or when you accept that the person you chose among the billions in this universe will never be able to give back the love you are willing to spare.

When you accept that the person will be happier with someone else. 

When you think about their happiness more than your own.

And when you finally let things go but never forgetting how special it is to love. 

waiting for my star to fall,  
 Mia      

LEARN

And I guess I realized at that moment that I really did love HIM. 

Because there was nothing to gain, and that didn't matter...

waiting for my star to fall,  
 Mia      

The Dessert

I woke up in the middle of NOTHING. 

No trees, houses. 

No birds flying up the blue sky.

I looked above and I realized that what I'm seeing is not anything I've seen before... It's not the sky I've known that comes in all shades of blue. This one is like a blank vast space.

No star to conquer. No moon and sun chasing each other wishing to be together but never really meet.

Nothing. Empty.

And with nothing to see from the sky, I examined around, the only thing that differentiates this from the blank sky is that in the sky nothing is there but on the ground I am HERE.

I shouted all the words I know that means "anybody there?". Nothing. No echo. Nothing that assured me that something's or someone's there. 

I think I given up before I lost sanity.

I accepted what will never be there. No one will be here. I'm alone. It maybe nothing and it may feel so empty... But at the least, I should be happy I'M STILL HERE. 

waiting for my star to fall,  
 Mia