Tiny Steps to my Dreams

I never find studying at UP cool. For me, those who study there are of two things: genius and crazy. In my UPCAT way back 2004, I was able to pass a quota course, not in Diliman but in one of the UP campuses. But I didn’t consider the idea of studying there. I was quite lost at that time and not exactly sure if my chosen course would really work for me.

I enrolled at the Manila Times School of Journalism(Now The Manila Times College), preferred it over UP for it offers a three years jam-packed journalism course with ojt from day 1. I never thought that I’ll go gaga over journalism, like a little kid begging for a lollipop. That time, I just used the 3-year-course for some soul searching.

And believe it or not–I found my soul there, it became my home, my air, my love. Being there opened up a lot of opportunities for me that I believe even UP won’t open up for me. I have to say that I owe to The Manila Times School of Journalism, to The Manila Newspaper and to The Manila Times-Barangay News… mostly of what I am now. If not to them, my career won’t blossom as it is now.

When I finished studying, I went to the States for a vacation. With three years of full studying and only five weeks(3 weeks for enrollment every trimester, 1 week for xmas and 1 week for holyweek) vacation in all those years, I know I needed a break. I went to US to finalize my decisions, what prize to eye.

During my vacation there, I realized that I wanted to try a different way with Journalism. I’m good at news, I believe I am, so I decided to hit another target. I decided to try my luck in grad school. Right after my vacation, I considered two school and guess what, I’m now crawling after UP. But with the fascinating course description of MA Creative Writing with UST, I drooled for it more. I passed the exams and interviews in the two school. When I try to remember things now, I choose UST over UP for it doesn’t demand as much work experience as they demand in UP. Again, I preferred to be somewhere else over UP.

Grad school in UST was smooth. I know in my heart it was something I really wanted, wanting it like a diabetic patient needing insulin, until now. I love UST it’s just I have “deep” personal reasons why I’m delaying my course there. Also, with the workload and work schedule I have now, it will be lethal.

So do I have any other choice than UP now? For sure UP Alumni, students and fanatics would raise eyes brows with my statements. I won’t mind if some would say, “Man, who the hell is that girl to say UP is just an OPTION and a CHOICE? UP is the way to go.”

So why UP now? If you ask me, I don’t know either. Maybe that’s how playful life is no matter how you run away from your dreams and no matter how you lie about it… Truths will be revealed. Yes, I always dreamed of being a UP student. I may not spill it my undying love for it but deep down, crystal clear, as a Filipino Citizen– I always dreamed of studying at the University of the Philippines.

love, now and always,