I need you more...

When Mom texted me, she will be having an operation sometime next week, that O word blown my eyes. Operation? What? Of all the times my mother would call, this is the time she should have called and even scared me to death that she just texted.

She texted, as if signalling me, she wouldn’t want her voice, emotions to be heard. I texted back, same way, I’m afraid too. She didn’t elaborate much about it, what was clear to me was that the doctor found something in her… “polyps” and she wanted to see me and my brother before the operation.

Polyps. Polyps.

I tried processing it on my brain. Poly… means many…. But polyps? What could that be?

When I researched about polyps in google, I made sure I included the question “is it dangerous?” on my search.

I tried reading from, wiki, mayo, blogs of people who had it, blogs of people who underwent operations because of it, but my brain seemed not to work properly, after I read….

Are colon polyps cancerous?
Some colon polyps are benign, which means they are not cancer. But some types of polyps may already be cancer or can become cancer.

I called her this time. When I tried to call her again, she didn’t pick up. I found myself crying. I called again, and now she turned it off.  Is it?

It can’t be. I prayed, called every saint I knew, begged God and mother Mary. It can’t be. And I wouldn’t accept it.

 I searched again… Read a Mayo clinic consultancy, “Is polyp removal dangerous?”

I found answers that would calm me… 

“A uterine polyp is a growth attached to the inner wall of the uterus. Overgrowth of cells in the lining of the uterus (endometrium) leads to the formation of uterine polyps. These polyps usually are non-cancerous (benign), but they require treatment to eliminate the symptoms.
An operative hysteroscopy is the best approach for treating a uterine polyp like yours. Some small polyps that don't cause symptoms may go away on their own. In those cases, watchful waiting may be appropriate. Due to the size of the polyp you describe and the bleeding you're experiencing, I wouldn't recommend that approach for you.
Though the surgery is necessary, it doesn't have to be scary. An operative hysteroscopy is a minor outpatient surgery. It doesn't require a hospital stay. During the procedure, your doctor will insert a thin, flexible, lighted scope through your vagina and cervix into your uterus. This allows your doctor to see into your uterus and identify the polyp. Your doctor will then insert surgical instruments through the hysteroscope to remove the polyp.
Anesthesia usually is used to decrease discomfort during an operative hysteroscopy. Before the procedure, talk to your doctor about the type of anesthesia and pain control that's right for your situation.
Although most uterine polyps are benign, some pre-cancerous changes of the uterus, such as endometrial hyperplasia, or actual uterine cancers can appear as uterine polyps. After your procedure, your doctor will send the polyp to a laboratory for pathologic evaluation to confirm that it's non-cancerous.
Operative hysteroscopy usually resolves the problem and no follow-up treatment is needed. You can be confident that an operative hysteroscopy is a safe procedure with few risks. It won't affect your ability to have children.
If you have other questions or concerns about uterine polyps, talk to your doctor about them before you undergo treatment.
-- Petra Casey, M.D.,
Obstetrics and Gynecology,
Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.

But I still need to talk to her. She needs me now but I need her more.

love, now and always,